Soldiers may be beheaded in the street whilst the police cower behind their car waiting for back up, allowing ordinary members of the public the vibrant opportunity to be enriched by listening to the verses of the Koran the blood-drenched killers are quoting; young girls may be forcibly hooked on drugs and gang raped by predatory Pakistanis whilst their fathers, banging on the door outside, are arrested for "racially aggravated harassment."
You might look at the above and think that this is a country which has lost its way, in which all aspects of the justice system were a toothless (although doubtless extremely expensive) joke.
Fear not. Forget Muslim morality patrols in Tower Hamlets, decapitated soldiers, calls for further decapitations - the real threat to law and order in London today comes from football fans not being quite complimentary about the importance of the Stephen Lawrence case - and when it comes to the truly important issues of the day, Old Bill and the CPS are still at the top of their game:
A group of seven football fans have received a total of six years in prison and a football ban of 52 years after they were heard singing on a train following their team’s FA Cup match.
The Met and the British Transport Police (BTP) launched an investigation, called Operation Midas, into allegations the men were chanting about Gary Dobson.
The accused were believed to be Charlton fans, and the club worked with officers to identify a number of people in connection with the incident.
Its chief executive Stephen Kavanagh then accompanied them on a series of dawn raids from which nine suspects were arrested.
Today the men, aged between 22 and 31, were found guilty of racially-aggravated chanting at Blackfriars Crown Court.
All but one received custodial sentences, ranging from eight months to 18 months, along with eight-year banning orders from football grounds in Britain.
The other defendant received a six-month suspended sentence, a curfew order for six months between 8pm and 6am and a four-year stadium ban.
Baljit Ubhey, London’s Chief Crown Prosecutor, said: “As the Hate Crime Champion for the CPS I am committed to ensuring that CPS London works with its police partners to tackle this type of behaviour.
“I hope these convictions stand as a warning that racist and abusive behaviour will not be tolerated in our city.”
Indeed, Baljit - I think we're all beginning to get an idea of just what will be tolerated and what won't in what was formerly "our city," and indeed "our country."
Hate Crime Champion at the CPS? I bet Baljit's services don't come cheap. Still, never mind - it's not as if the country is bankrupt, after all.
And I, for one, will sleep safely in my bed tonight knowing that these men are off the streets. Thought crime will simply not be tolerated in New Britain, and we all need to accept it and get the message.
Now, excuse me while I wait for the 6 am knock.