Weekly News Round Up: 18th-24th January 2009

Some more telling stories from this week's UK newspapers.

Of course, the biggest story here this week was the inauguration of 'The One' as President of the United States. Apparently this was a bigger news event worldwide than the 11th of September 2001 attacks, which I think aptly demonstrates our priorities here in the West.

The headlines were largely predictable:
'Obama's inauguration lights a candle of hope - and its flame is being felt around the world', screamed the comments section of the oft-demonised Right-wing 'Daily Mail'.

If you type 'Obama' into the search engine of 'The Guardian', the staple of Britain's liberal-left, you get around 638 returns. Among them is this - a handy pictorial guide to 48 newspaper front pages from around the world, all showing Obama. Just in case you're not sick of the man's name yet or something.
A poem in his honour tops the best seller list, and words like 'revolution' and 'remade' are bandied about as if they have no negative connotations at all.

'The Sun' and 'The Mirror' went one better; the former labelled Wednesday's entire edition as a 'souvenir' of this historic event. The latter settled for a giant pull out section, featuring the piece-de-resistance in the centre - his huge, smiling face. I've got mine on my wall now.
Both of course were filled with the usual asinine rubbish; more nonsense about his 'stunning' waxwork (and you should see that mannequin take an oath), profiles of his family and his wife's dress sense.

Sadly the one thing that they all missed was the breaking story on just why everyone cares this much. Ah well. At least we won't be taking any of the released Guantanamo Bay inmates.

I did feel sorry for Bush when he was jeered by the oh-so-mature fans of 'hope', 'change' and 'unity', but I suppose at least he doesn't have to take abuse for a living anymore. I have a feeling history will be kinder to him than is currently expected.

Because after all, Mr - sorry, President Obama now has to live up to all that hype. The media can smooth the way up to a point, but even then I'd say it will prove a nigh on impossible task.

'Ken Clarke returns to Tory frontbench in reshuffle - and immediately takes aim at Mandelson'
In British news, the Tories have welcomed overweight European Federalist Ken Clarke back to the Shadow Cabinet. I suspect this is part of their master plan to destroy the poll lead they've been building for a while now. Maybe he 'immediately took aim at Mandelson' because there's only room for one bloke who wants to sell the country to Brussels in order to improve his own personal prospects in mainstream British politics - but what am I saying, that's actually most of them these days.

Clarke is proof of what I've thought all along; David Cameron is not a conservative, he's a con-artist. I for one will not be voting for them next time.

If enough people follow my lead. it should scupper his chances, and then Britain might get what it so dearly needs - a proper conservative political party, not one that despises its traditional followers whilst sucking up to the Guardian and BBC crowd. One can dream, right?

'What use is Ken against Mandy? They agree on everything'
Opines Peter Hitchens. This is a slightly different subject to above, however; according to Hitchens, the EU is trying to insist that British citizens need a passport to enter the Channel Islands (Direct Dependencies of the Crown) and Isle of Man because they're not in the EU. This from an organisation which has made it possible to walk from Spain to Poland without meeting a border guard, yet still insists it can control immigration through a 'Fortress Europe' policy.

If they actually devoted as much time to sensible things as they do this nonsense, the entire entity would be governed almost frighteningly effectively.

Finally, one to warm your heart on this cold January day:
'Raiders kill an OAP's budgie'
The full text:

"Cruel burglars snapped the neck of a budgie in front of its elderly owner when she refused to give them £100.
The raiders had burst into the 78-year-old's home in Cardiff and, after stealing £150 they had found in a search of the house, demanded another £100 from the woman.
When she said she did not have any more cash in the house, one of the two burglars took her pet bird and killed it, before leaving.
'This was a despicable crime on an elderly lady who is in poor health. We believe these men have targeted her because of her age and because she lives on her own,' said Det Sgt Stuart Wales.
'The victim is deeply upset because not only has she been the victim of a crime, she has also lost her pet budgie, her soulmate, in a brutal and disturbing manner.' "

It never ceases to amaze me how low people can sink. It's worth noting that for some, this is just another day in modern Britain - a country the aforementioned David Cameron claims he's more than happy to live in.

Well, maybe if I had a policeman outside my door I'd agree, but I doubt it.